How Not to Approach a Blogger...

This is actually a DM conversation I had with someone the other day on Twitter. I won't reveal their identity to spare blushes:
Nameless Literary Organisation: 'Hi Lindsey - would you like to test run/write up my literary consultancy for free? [Link] Matt.
[20 minute pause]

NLO: 'If it endears you to me, I once worked at Constable and published a flash fiction called Lindsay Shits. Googlit.'
Me: 'Ha, why on earth would that endear me to you?! Tell me why I would want to test run/write up you consultancy - what is it for etc?'

[30 minute pause]

NLO: 'It makes people better poets and fictioners: [link]'
Me, having looked: 'I've not really got anything to submit at the moment, but will keep it in mind. I wouldn't write about it without trying it...'
Cont.: '...first. Btw, when you approach other bloggers, don't use the word 'shits'. Not nice.'

[On-going pause]

How many things are wrong with this picture?

Spelling my name wrong (my Twitter name is my name. The spelling is in it!), presuming he might need to 'endear' himself to me to get my attention (Creepy. Also, he 'once' worked at Constable? Makes me wonder why he doesn't anymore) and then linking my (misspelt) name with 'shits'. Umm, seriously? And then no thanks or goodbye. 

Manners, you say?! Is there anything in this that might make him expect a 'yes'? (And suggesting I might want to become a better 'fictioner'...back-handed insult anyone?)

So, in summary, no. No. 


Does anyone else get approaches like this?


  1. Lindsay,
    At least NLO offered you a free test run! Wowsers!

    I keep getting approached by more-than-slightly-shady outfits who find my name & contact info on a networking site. These gems try to sell me on the idea of writing something for free then paying them to publish it in an anthology of sorts ("Our basic package begins at only $299!") so I can have the honor -- nay, the privilege -- of shilling it for them.

    However, to be fair, not one of them has ever tried to sway my opinion by pairing my name with the word "shits." So... you win!


  2. Wow, Lindsey, Linzee, Lynzee, Lindsay, Lyndsay... oh, heck, I'll just call you "shits"

    This whole conversation is, well... just... uh... I mean... okay, I'm absolutely speechless. Seriously? Was he for real? Truly, I can't find the words to express my absolute shock at his audacity.

    I must say, you were and are being incredibly kind and gracious considering. Kudos to you for that. I have not yet been approached by something like this, but when I am I only hope I can be as nice as you! :o)

    And, yup, I'll be retweeting this one.

  3. I get crap like this sometimes. You were very polite. Often, I get angry or simply ignore. I should take a page from your book. :)

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  5. Thanks guys - it was less politeness on my part, more 'what the?' stunned shock. I'm glad it's not just me who thinks this was totally out of order :)

    Ami, maybe they reckon poor bloggers such as us would be grateful for their help...? Shocking! XD

    Love, Linzee (+ random disgusting word...) :)

  6. Wow, it would take someone pretty clueless to misspell someone's name when it's right there in front of them. That's just sad.

    I found this post from your "Big Hitters" links. :)

  7. Hey Melanie!

    It was sad. I think that's a good description of it. Like, why was he even bothering? Lameness. Rather predictably, I haven't heard from him since then.

    Thanks for stopping by again!


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